How To Get My 18 Year Old To Save Some Of His Money

How Practice I Teach My 19 Year Onetime Son to Be More Responsible with Money?

Updated on April 01, 2008

P.H. asks from Euless, TX on March 31, 2008

viii answers

Hi Mammas~

My son is 19, graduated with distinguished honors, was accepted into the UTA Technology program....and so decided he "needed some time"....has basically flaked off this past year, and is now planning to get to college (a 2-yr college in primal texas) with his girlfriend when she graduates. All of this aside...what money he does earn equally a server at the Cheescake Mill, he blows almost immediately. Of grade, when "mom" gives him some good, solid advice - he just smiles, says "ok, mom", and goes on with no improvement. Is anyone familiar with a book or plan or anything that can encourage immature adults to spend and salve wisely?

What tin can I practice next?

So What Happened?

Thanks to all...you advice is wonderful. I've spoke w/ him & his dad (my-ex) and he'south agreed to actually "wait" at how much he spends on unnecessary "junk" and started a program for savings. Hopefully, with prayer & guidance, he can stick to information technology. Thanks once more!!

More Answers

D.O.

answers from Dallas on March 31, 2008

In my stance, if he is non going to schoolhouse, he needs to be paying rent, at least several hundred dollars a calendar month. Just think....If he was living on his own I doubt he could go by with paying less than $400-500 a month simply for rent. If he isn't already, he needs to be paying for his own gas, automobile payment, insurance, etc as well. If you were planning on paying his higher expenses, I would give him a deadline for that as well. Get-go college by 10 date, go at least half/total fourth dimension, and maintain an 10 GPA & I volition go on paying for your tuition/expenses. If not, you lot will pay for your own. I would think that existence responsible for paying for your own necessities would 'force' someone to become more responsible with money pretty apace!

J.R.

answers from Dallas on March 31, 2008

I am curious what y'all are currently paying for him right now. Is he living at home, do you pay his gas, extras, etc?

If you are paying his schooling, I would suggest doing what my dad did for my blood brother when he wasn't doing too hot in school. My brother had to find a style to pay for his classes, and dad would reimburse him at the end of the semester for each class he passed. If he didn't pass, then it was my blood brother's loss.

I was blessed throughout my college years to accept parents who could afford to pay my college and car payments/gas while I went to school full time. I would never error a parent for wanting to exercise the same considering I knew how much it helped me. I also knew that the majority of parents could not do this. I also NEVER took information technology for granted, which unfortunately it sounds like your son might be doing. He hasn't realized just how fortunate he is to be able to blow his money and still get everything else he wants. Information technology might take tough love for a while to teach him not to take what petty he makes for granted. Some will never learn, so it's up to you lot to determine at what indicate you will cease helping financially. Determine that point and stick to it.

I may be in your shoes when my kiddos become older, so information technology's hard for someone with young kids like myself to give advice because I won't know that feeling until I am exactly in your shoes. It's easy to say cutting off the coin, but I know when information technology's your own kid it's not so like shooting fish in a barrel to practice. Good luck!

B.P.

answers from Dallas on April 01, 2008

Effort reading "Debt Proof Your Kids" by Mary Hunt, and as well give him a copy of "The Complete Cheapskate" by Mary Hunt. It teaches very sound financial advice on how to alive beneath your means with nobility. I accept recommended her books to many people and they always say the same thing...."Wish I'd read these books years ago!". Good Luck!

K.B.

answers from Dallas on April 01, 2008

Sounds like you are where I was with my nephew-son every bit I telephone call him. My sis brought him into the world but I raised him and rescued him from her afterward in his life.

I was a big enabler always coming to the rescue. I would push button finding a task going to school but equally long every bit he had the convenience of a roof over his caput, lights, food, running water and cable tv there was no motivation on his part. It took well-nigh 3 years from 18 to 20 before he finally got directly and he had some bruises in the course of those years due to some bad decisions he made.

But I finally removed myself from the equation. I am not providing transportation, when the food runs out of the house the food is gone unless he has a portion to contribute to groceries, I gave him 30 or 60 days to have a job and so another sixty days to get his own place after he started working. That was that.

I know in your case it is a little different simply he is not going to understand until he is out on his own and as mother-in reality- you may eliminate some of his extras only you are still going to provide those necessities no matter what he does. It sounds like he was a high achiever in high school and may accept had a lot pressure on him and correct at present what he is experiencing in freedom/relief and he realizes it and he enjoys it. It does sound like he has a plan it may not exist the plan or course of activeness that you lot want him to take but he has a program. From personal experience when dealing w/boys they practise the verbal opposite of what momma says "just because" but they always come back to momma. I would advise taking the approach of asking him what are his plans for his life, education, piece of work, and survival. Merely remove what you think he should do from chat all together. So accept some real talk with him. Enquire him how would he survive if you were killed in a freak blow today? I know almost people don't similar to talk well-nigh this but reality is information technology happens and should be discussed. Y'all will accept to modify your approach to reach him peculiarly since he has a girlfriend he is chasing. Do not appear to be controlling him or "telling" him what to practice.

For a upkeep you can practise this yourself with pen and paper. The two of y'all together sit down down and write downward everything you pay for him and requite him direct. Then write down how much he brings home from his paycheck and what he spends it on. Using the 2 listing assign him some responsibility even if information technology'south merely $five or $x and then you can take that money he gives you and put into a savings account for him, so when he does leave for higher and calls home for assist guess what, he has some money saved up (it may not exist alot simply information technology is something) and plus it volition exist like gilt to him because he doesn't fifty-fifty know he has it. I would also have him put away an boosted set amount for his personal savings it can exist $ten.00 a check. The key to learning to salve is to showtime small and get used to the procedure and then gradually increase. When he gets a raise accept that actress money from his raise and put that direct into savings. If you lot don't think he volition exist responsible enough to do information technology own his ain have him requite you the money or set his checks upwards for direct deposit and have the coin automatically transferred to savings or log on and transfer it for him. Also yous can monitor his activity until he understands some kids need a little actress guidance than others. I had to do this for my niece when she moved with me and started working. That daughter spent a 100.00 in 3 days buying junk. After I showed it to her in black and white and started monitoring her business relationship she became more witting of what she was spending.

Last but not least PRAY about it and ask God for guidance for yourself and your son!

God Anoint

J.T.

answers from Dallas on March 31, 2008

I completely hold with the previous mail service. Likewise, my hubby and I read Dave Ramsey'south book The Total Coin Makeover and picket his show on Flim-flam Concern Network. We currently live the way he outlines in his book and couldn't be happier!! Dave is such a likeable person and really cares about other peoples' financial wellness and happiness in life. Good luck to you!

B.B.

answers from Dallas on March 31, 2008

I read a few of your advice responses so far and I accept to say that they are all right! DO NOT Give HIM Coin! I watched my parents waste their retirement on my bother and what did he learn... to stick his hand out for help with an attitude of entitlement and what did my parents larn... they were enabling my blood brother to human activity that way. Both were at fault and both are now paying the cost. Both of my parents are in the early 50s and have NO Money for retirement and are manner deep in debt b/c of lending to my brother with the promise that he would pay them dorsum and of grade it never happens. My brother is 33 and lives with 3 roommates and still cannot manage to make hire. Do both of y'all a favor brand him pay his own bills and hire if you lot pat for college. But if he wants to be an developed and wants you to treat him as such then he needs to human activity like one. I concur with the annotate on the deadline. Set gaols and deadlines together and stick to it. I hope this helps.

T.O.

answers from Dallas on March 31, 2008

Don't give him any money.

And then brand an appt with someone like my friend that does free budget counseling and there's a book that goes with her program.

Anne Salick ###-###-#### Primerica

She has her ain college aged son and loves working with kids. She makes a living by selling insurance, common funds etc, but she really doesn't push those things and wants to help others like her ain son.

L.A.

answers from Dallas on March 31, 2008

Yeah... does he have a cell phone or a gas card? If so, he should exist paying for bills... and helping out paying for groceries, peradventure rent. Aid him larn to bugdet. It's not going to work coming from you, I agree with the Dave Ramsey book.

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